Satire: COVID Crisis Claims Another Victim: Mad Monday Atrocity Scoops

 The coronavirus crisis has claimed yet another victim this week with the usual customary front page headlines of NRL players drunkenly running around the streets of Sydney naked, pissing in pot plants or dressing up as US President Donald Trump as is the norm on the end of season “Mad Monday” however with the NRL banning Mad Monday this year, journos and photographers have been left confronted with the realisation that their usual front page headlines of players behaving badly won’t be a thing due to coronavirus and ARL Commission chairman Peter V’Landys and they may have to spend their time writing about the NRL Finals which start this weekend

One journalist was reported to have complained to his bosses about writer’s block as he trawled Twitter looking for any potential stories as he was unable to access Microsoft Office 365 due to an outage today.

An unnamed source said “The journos are doing it tough right now, there’s just nothing in the way of player misbehaviour that would garner front page headlines and generate clicks on the website. There’s some realisation that we may need to write about the actual rugby league that’s coming up on the weekend”

Another source claimed that journalists would have to resort to juicy Brisbane Broncos coaching innuendo and opinions just to garner any attention away from the finals. “We’re just going to have use our favourite rugby league punching bags right now…Broncos, Bulldogs and Tigers to draw readers attention away from NRL finals somehow. I guess we have got a few referees or bunker in crisis stories somewhere ready to go but that stuff doesn’t get front pages like players pissing in pot plants does”

The NRL finals begin on Friday night with Penrith Panthers v Sydney Roosters.

To all the "Karens" and "Kevins" out there...

You seem to come from a background that hasn’t gone through the pain of having a loved one in hospital or losing a loved one to coronavirus…nor have I…we’re the lucky ones…We haven’t had to go through all he trauma so many other families have had to go through because of this wretched virus and those loved ones who contracted the virus but survived have to deal with months of painful therapy, loss of vision and other issues associated with this abomination of a disease.

Imagine this: You are preparing for a long hard day at work or likely in some cases preparing fucked up conspiracy theories to post on social media when a phone call comes in from the state health department, your mother is in a hospital intensive care unit on a ventilator with coronavirus but you can’t go and visit her or sit by her bedside to support her in her battle against the virus and what’s more the health department have identified that you were in close contact with with your mother and have ordered you to isolate from the rest of your family for fourteen days which you have no choice but to do and complete testing for the virus. Days later, your mother dies from coronavirus alone, you are left distraught by the news and spend the rest of the day telling relatives via the phone from designated place of isolation

Then you realize that because you and other members of your immediate family are still in isolation, you will be unable to attend the funeral of your dear mother but you help organise the funeral and figure out which ten family members can go to the funeral keeping in line with the restrictions around funeral attendance, you are emotionally spent and heartbroken as you remember leaning on your mother for advice…she’s not there to give that advice anymore, the children won’t be able to hear the stories that Grandma can tell, no more going to your childhood home to chat with over a cup of coffee and homemade pumpkin scones.

It transpires your mother contracted coronavirus because your mother was in contact with somebody who contracted the virus but was asymptomatic but didn’t self isolate like they should have or wear a mask to prevent spread.

Sounds horrible doesn’t it? You don’t want to be one of those people ending other people’s lives because you think your rights and freedoms are being encroached upon like the person who gave somebody’s loved one coronavirus, in reality your push for freedom is only going to end in restrictions/lockdown for wider Australia due to a second wave of the virus…you don’t want to be responsible for that.

Please stop the irresponsible nonsense and be apart of the wider effort to stop the spread of the virus, if you go out, please wear a mask if its required by law that you have to and adhere to social distancing guidelines, if a store or police officer tells you to wear a mask…for goodness sake…DO IT. If you don’t want to wear a mask than please just stay at home, it’s not that hard.

Yes, you have rights but they also come with responsibilities. We need to adhere to our responsibilities as much as our rights, we all have the responsibility to everyone in our Australian community.

 

Controversy Corner is just a cacophony of noise linked to rugby league

So in recent months I have binge watching a lot of rugby league footage from the 80s and 90s via Youtube and I come across an excerpt of a show from 1979 called "Controversy Corner" which was hosted by Rex Mossop and I couldn't get past how intelligent the insight was into rugby league where they talked about a semi final between Canterbury and Cronulla where everybody on the panel gave their thoughts on the game concisely and as a viewer you could understand what was being said, there was a reason why so many rugby league fans loved it back in its time on Channel Seven. Point is I learnt from what Steve Rogers said.

Here's the blast from the past:





Now contrast the above video with Fox League's version of Controversy Corner which originally had Bulldogs legend and former rugby league commentator Graeme Heughes as host but this season replaced by commentator Andrew Voss with Tigers legend and co commentator Steve Roach, former Sea Eagles player and coach Geoff Toovey and Daily Telegraph sports editor at large Phil Rothfield. It returned tonight with the NRL facing a range of issues ahead of round one including the fall out from the new ad campaign, dealing with any potential coronavirus outbreak, attempts by some within the game to remove CEO Todd Greenberg and the announcement of round 1 teams tomorrow afternoon.

So unlike the original version and taking turns to speak and listening calmly while another puts their point across, the 2020Controversy Corner often devolves into incoherent yelling that makes it difficult for viewers to understand the points being put across, granted it's the same sort of thing that went on last season but it feels like the point of the debate gets lost in all the incoherent yelling that I wonder what I actually got out of all of it anyway. I get they all want their voices to be heard but how about shutting up and letting one person speak at a time, it makes for more interesting TV.

Although even when there is no yelling, some of the opinions stated are incredibly irresponsible or not well thought out take Phil Rothfield's suggestion that the NRL Integrity should release information about cases still awaiting court outcomes to the public for example, if the NRL Integrity Unit did what Mr Rothfield suggests than that would be seriously prejudicing the court case. Think before you open your mouth for goodness sake.

Look, if you enjoy four men yelling at the sky like Abe Simpson from The Simpsons than Controversy Corner is the show for you but it you want rugby league discussion that is thought provoking and well reasoned, I'd just be organising petition for the return of League Life or perhaps the ladies could replace the men for a week so Controversy Corner might see a miracle of some well reasoned, rational and calm discussion about rugby league while apologising to Rex Mossop for turning what he created all those years ago into a cacophonous half hour of noise.